Monday, 24 October 2011

Film without Intro, music, voices !

Its just for Sean and charlotte to see how it looks. i will post later the whole "real" Film with a lot of comments and this stuff.

Untitled from Amir Yahai on Vimeo.

1 comment:

  1. 0:00 - although I like the idea of the opening shot, I would suggest this might have been better if you'd cut from the close-up to the long-shot; I'm not a huge fan of reverse-zooms (pull-outs). I like the ELS - it's quite effective.
    0:08 - the smoke is okay, although it looks more like smoke than mist, which is what I assume you were aiming for. You need to watch the autofocus, since it's making the shot wobble a little; ideally this would be more effective if static
    0:30 - you spent a long time on the character walking towards the camera; a little strange to jump him to the top of the stairs. You might have broken this up with some close-ups or a reverse angle?
    0:36 - the angle you've shot this at is a little odd - is it supposed to be slightly canted? It's quite effective that you can't see the character's head at the beginning of the shot, but you sort of lose that when he comes into shot; you might have been better to cut before then
    0:37 - I like this angle, although you appear to be breaking the 180 degree rule
    0:38 - Again, I like this angle
    0:40 - An interesting C/U, although not sure why the hue changes at about 43s?
    0:50 - an effective effect
    1:02 - I like the credits here
    1:05 - a good attempt at a pan, although a little jerky; you need to practice these a little more and maybe loosen the tripod head more. I like the way this scene has been lit and the shot of Amir at the table is well framed
    1:07 - the continuity of Amir's c/U is a little off (action match of his movement compared to the LS)
    1:13 - the camera is moving a little more than it needs to; would be more effective if static
    1:16 - althoug the shots are good, the angles aren't quite right(you've sort of broken the 180 degree rule). You also appear to have a few black frames before the C/U
    1:20 - a good attempt at an action match, although look at Sean's hands (fists, then palms)
    1:31 - similarly, look at the direction Amir's head is facing when the shot cuts from C/U to LS
    1:38 - Action match here is good, and the framing is interesting
    1:47 - a good attempt at a tilt here, and the CU is well framed. The camera move in is also good, although I'm not sure about the way the top of Amir's head is lost... I can see what you're trying to do, but I think you need a wider angle to show the action
    1:59 - the punch is good, but you needed to cut to the fall more quickly. Although I applaud the attempt to use effects to create the bruise, you would be better advised to use make-up since the effect is not quite in synch with the movement
    2:04 - I like the way this shot is framed
    2:05 - the cut here is not quite right - it looks like a glitch, since the continuity is wrong (the hand is moving, then not)

    I rather like the shot at the end, although it is a little freaky...!

    This is a pretty good effort, with some imagnative camerawork and some interesting mise-en-scene. Since there's no sound, it's impossible to judge this aspect. The main issues are to do with continuity, as you can tell. This is very much at a Level 3 standard (lower end) which is pretty good for a first effort.